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Nine Old Men, Dr. Doom & Hamburgers
2007-10-17 12:47:17
 Have you ever heard of Jeff Parker?
Me neither.
Kidding.
Jeff Parker’s one of Marvel’s best writers. He got his start here on MARVEL ADVENTURES FANTASTIC FOUR, then did one of the funniest Spider-Man stories ever in MARVEL ADVENTURES SPIDER-MAN #4 (“YO YO YO GOOM IS IN THE HIZZY!”), kick-started MARVEL ADVENTURES THE AVENGERS and X-MEN: FIRST CLASS, did a SPIDER-MAN/FANTASTIC FOUR mini-series with the late, great Mike Wieringo and, of course, wrote AGENTS OF ATLAS, which you probably haven’t read, which is why I’m better than you (but don’t worry: After you’ve read it, you’ll go back to being better than me).
His scripts are funny and a pleasure to read every time, but he's actually even funnier to talk to and email, because you start to realize that every sweet, hilarious element he instills in his scripts are a reflection of his personality. He’s just a nice guy that likes writing about talking gorillas.
 I caught up to Mr. Parker a few days ago, and he was good enough to stop lying about why he missed another script deadline and we had a rambling chat that I told him I’d put on the Internet…
NATE: Weather good there?
JEFF: Excellent! Good bike riding weather.
But remember, parents: your kids can find out about Iron Man from you, or they can learn about him on the street.
It's your choice.
The More You Know!
NATE: Mr. Parker is in-joking, a sure-fire way to get people to want to keep reading a blog entry. He’s referring to what he’s working on now, an IRON MAN comic that’ll come out around the time of the new IM movie. We don’t have a title yet, so we’re just calling it IRON MAN AWARENESS for now.
Get the facts straight, kids. Only YOU can prevent Iron Man.
What cartoons did you watch growing up, Parker?
JEFF: I watched a lot of "Johnny Quest," "Space Ghost," Warner Bros. cartoons (I liked Porky Pig in particular) and all of the Disney animation. I especially enjoyed their "Jungle Book" and "Robin Hood."
 NATE: Yeah, old Disney stuff is the best. Why was Disney so good? I look at the newer things (outside of Pixar) that Disney animation does and think, “Man, why can’t they get it right?” then I remember "Peter Pan," "Cinderella," "Snow White," "Jungle Book," "Robin Hood," "Sleeping Beauty," "Fantasia," and I think, “Man, how’d they get it right SO many times?”
JEFF: Because the nine Old Men of Disney Animation, that's why! And Walt was a nutty genius—really I think that's the key, more personal vision. Agree with his choices or not, he was the driving force, and later on like a big corporation it's steered by committee. Though I have to say, I've enjoyed some of the more recent films too. I really like "Mulan," "Tarzan" if you take out all the Phil Collins, "Atlantis," "Lilo and Stitch"...but now they try to quantify things in a way you shouldn't. "Atlantis" doesn't do well, so the lesson they take away is "needed songs." And instead of seeing that Pixar focuses hard on the stories, they instead take away the lesson "people don't like 2-D animation anymore," which is insane, and lay off all their animators.
Speaking of, shouldn't some of those animators be working with us now?
NATE: I’ll give ya "Lilo & Stitch," but you can’t separate Phil Collins from "Tarzan," which forever taints the film. At least for the "Lion King," they had the decency to let someone else sing those Elton John songs.
Yeah, I can’t figure out why more animation people don’t work in comics. Seems like they work on a movie for four or five years and they’d want a release from having to draw the same thing over and over. You’d think someone would say, “Man, if I gotta draw one more picture of a singing chipmunk, I’m gonna blow my stack. Sure wish somebody’d ask me to draw Captain America.” But that hardly ever happens.
 JEFF: Yeah.
NATE: Do you think there’ll ever be a more consistently better animated show than "Batman: The Animated Series"? Or are you a "Simpsons" guy?
JEFF: Sadly, it looks now like "Simpsons" is tallying up those mediocre seasons where they might start passing the exceptional ones at the beginning. But I've heard good things about recent episodes, so hopefully not. I'm not sure we should compare the two shows just because they're animated. It's like when "Simpsons" were only up against other cartoons every year in the Emmys and had to have the bizarre honor of beating "Garfield" all the time, when they should have been beating other sitcoms.
"BTAS" sure was good, yes!
NATE: I think it’s fair to compare. Like, if you asked me what’s better: Hamburger Casserole or Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream. They have nothing to do with each other, but when it comes down to it, I pick Hamburger Casserole. They’re both food, like "BTAS" and "Simpsons" are both cartoons. But ultimately, I’m pickin’ "BTAS," just because I know it’s going to be consistently better, and yeah, it was finite, so it gets better with age, instead of hanging around past its prime.
(I can’t watch that new "The Batman" thing. It looks so ugly.)
Anyway, you’ve got kids (I know, because when I call you to turn in an X-MEN: FIRST CLASS script, there are constant indiscriminate screams in the background, and then you say, “Daddy’s trying to talk about Cyclops, honey. Go play in the other room”). What do you let them watch? Anything more adult than their age group usually allows? And do they like comics?
 JEFF: My 4 and 2 year old don't see a lot of tv, but they watch all those Disney movies you mentioned earlier, like "101 Dalmatians," "Aristocats" and such. It inspires me, the most obvious case being when my daughter kept wanting to watch "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" (which isn't Disney, it's Broccoli, the James Bond people) until I was finally compelled to write a MARVEL ADVENTURES FANTASTIC FOUR based on the movie, where Johnny hot-rods an old car that used to belong to Dr. Doom. Yes, that's the origin of "Doom, Where's My Car?"
They're just starting to understand what comics are, and they know I have something to do with them. I think they think my job is reading them.
NATE: Of course that’s not your job. It’s mine.
Long as we’re talking inspiration, it does seem like you like old stuff. You like old cars, old-school sci-fi robots, B-movie monsters. Do you just naturally gravitate towards that type of thing (in life and in writing), or is it a conscious decision to not embrace whatever’s “hot” at the moment?
 JEFF: I like a lot of new stuff too, like this inter-web and these i-Podules. But I like to pick through the old things of our culture and see what's still cool, and maybe deserving of "classic" status because they defy the dustbin of time. Not just any thing from the '30s or '50s or whatever is usable, they made plenty of junky movies and comics and songs back then too. But some things just hold up in any time. Knights in armor, everybody still likes them. Dinosaurs never go out of style. Gloves on heroes. Yet no one's racing out to get those digital watches where you had to press the button to see the time on the little LED lights. It's a constant process of selection.
NATE: I think my love for old stuff came from my grandmother. Growing up, she did the Eight Days of Christmas thing, where she’d give us a present a day, starting on December 18th. But she lives in Iuka, Mississippi, where you can’t get the newest toys or anything, so she’d give me and my sister old stuff she’d stowed away from like 30 years ago. My favorite was a hand-squeeze flashlight. It was brilliant. As long as you kept squeezing the pump, there was light. I have no idea why that didn’t catch on.
What old comics should a new comic book-reading kid read?
JEFF: UNCLE SCROOGE adventures. And that's not to keep up this sub-theme of Disney talk, because the stress there is that the stories were written and drawn by one of the medium's greatest, Carl Barks. Everything good about comics can be found in those Barks duck stories. They travel the world and the sense of discovery permeates everything, it's pure adventure. Characterization is excellent and the art is gorgeous. You can hop on anywhere in the books and get what's happening, they didn't try to scare readers off with continuity in those days.
 The European counterpart to the Barks stories is Herge's TINTIN, which will also capture your young mind. Entertaining and lush to look at, with a cursing rummy sea captain (which is again, what comics are all about). Those volumes are easy to find. I'm stressing the entertainment value with these answers, but you'll also learn a lot about geography and history. And TinTin is always the engine driving the story as he relentlessly problem-solves and investigates, Not a passive character that plot happens To.
POPEYE by E.C. Segar is being reprinted in nice big volumes now, still one of the greatest newspaper strips ever, if not the greatest. It's a hilarious and rich world with unpredictable storylines. The cartoons just give you a watered down and simplified version of Segar's universe—like all I knew of Wimpy from cartoons was that he liked hamburgers. In the original stories he's a complete cad and horrible friend to have, who would turn Popeye (or a baby!) over to an enemy to save his own neck. And Popeye doesn't really need spinach to beat everyone up, he just can, like an unstoppable force of nature.
I'll stand by those picks and defend them to the death.
Oh, and now they got the shaky flashlight that ya gotta keep shakin'.
NATE: A flashlight y’gotta shake. What’ll people think of next.
Awright, it’s a Marvel blog, so let’s end with a little Marvel. You wanna tease a few things you’re doing in X-MEN: FIRST CLASS? I ask partially to tease readers and partially so I’ll know what to tell the cover artist to draw.
 JEFF: The X-Men are going to veer back to their science fiction roots in the next few stories, and the students will be undergoing some interesting changes in biology. And speaking of roots, they'll be returning to the Everglades not to take on the Lizard again, but will interact with another famous resident of the Marvel Swamplands. And all who know fear burn at his touch! After that, the gang are subjected to inhuman conditions...
NATE: …and then they go to the beach, I assume.
(Parker go-to story elements: Super hero team goes to the beach, the women are always smarter and stronger than the men, and if Thor shows up, it’s not until the end of the book and it’s usually unannounced.)
Thank you very much, Mr. Parker, for making this email thread so very special. Go write the AGENTS OF ATLAS sequel.
JEFF: Thanks, and thanks for giving away all my trade secrets. I'm not sure how to end this... wait- is that THOR approaching?
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About this blog:
This is a blog for kids, featuring ONLY comics (and maybe movies and tv shows and GASP! books) that are for kids. You can keep your World War Hulks and your Civil Wars and your Punishers...let's have some fun! I'm bringin' over Spidey and Thor and we're havin' a PILLOW FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!
 | About the author:
Nathan Cosby has somehow managed to become an assistant editor at Marvel Comics. He can make helicopter sounds with his tongue and edits Power Pack, Marvel Adventures Fantastic Four, Spider-Man Family and helps with all the other All-Age stuff. He is really good-looking and likes Gummi Bears.
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